4 November

Så jag har redovisning imorgon i psykologi, och jag har skjutit upp att börja med det under en väldigt lång tid, men eftersom redovisning är imorgon så tänkte jag att jag kanske skulle börja idag trots allt. Så jag satte mig ner, började skriva ner och göra powerpointen. Jag hade precis gjort klart power pointen och nästna skrivit klart att jag skulle säga. Och gissa vad som händer? Datorn fanskapet startar om sig utan någon som helst anledning!! Kaput, allt försvinner och jag får tårar i ögonen. Men nu, ytterliggare två timmar senare, efter att jag har skrivit om allt ytterliggare en gång så är jag klar! Och jag tänkte att eftersom det är psykologi, så är det ju faktiskt lärorikt, så ni ska få läsa vad jag kommer att säga imorgon! Eller ja, en del av det i alla fall. Hoppas ni förstår och lär er något utav det.

Anyone who has ever been in a serious relationship has probably felt the green-eyed monster creep into his or her thoughts at one time or another. And it is nothing wrong with that really. As I said, almost everyone have felt it one time or another.

I just want to describe briefly what jealousy means. Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship friendship or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness and disgust.

Jealousy is a self-conscious emotion. Other forms of self-conscious emotions are empathy, embarrassment, pride, shame and guilt. Most of these feelings occur for the first time at some point in the second half of the first year.

I found a study made by David DeSteno. According to him the most common situations where you may experience feeling of jealousy are;
• When someone flirt with the person that you feel like you belong to.
• When someone else achieve something that you have been wanting to do, but haven’t done yet.
• When someone that you don’t like succeeds.
• When someone else manages to get something that you don’t think they deserve.

These are just some of the most common situations and not everyone might feel that they get jealous in situations like this. It varies from person to person, and it all depends on what triggers your jealousy.

So what really causes jealousy? It is hard to say, and we often tend to think that jealousy is caused by external factors. We are all of course affected by what we see and hear, but the route cause of jealousy is always internal. Some causes that I found are;
• Lack of self confidence: The lack of self confidence is one of the main causes behind jealousy. When you doubt your own abilities or skills it is going to bring you down. People that are one hundred present sure of themselves hardly ever suffers from jealousy, and if they do it will be brought down to a minimum.
• Poor self image: Having a poor self image is another cause of jealousy. If you think that you are not that pretty or that you don’t meet the standards, the chances that you will be feeling jealousy when you meet a person that according to you is better than you, are pretty high.
• Fear: Another big cause behind feeling jealousy is being afraid. This fear can be a fear of ending up alone, or a fear of losing the love that your partner is providing you.
• Insecurity: To feel insecure is a result of Lack of self confidence and poor self image. If you are feeling insecure about a relationship it can be a strong reason for you to get jealous.

As I said, even if we might get affected by what we see and hear, or what we think we see or hear, the causes of jealousy are internal. But this might also vary, let’s say you got hurt by someone you love and trusted earlier in your life, it might affect how you feel, and how jealous you are.

I found a study made by the U.S. department of justice in 2003, and they said that jealousy more than many other negative emotions is thought to lead to hostile and abusive behaviour aimed at relationship partners and stands as a likely contributing factor to homicide-related death among women with over 40 percent of such female deaths in 2000 stemming from conflict with relationship partners

Even if it might seem hard to get over jealousy there are a lot of different ways to deal with it. I am only going to mention a few of them:
• Sometime people tend to think that jealousy is the same thing as love, but it is not. Jealousy is the fear of losing love. Jealousy only disappears when you truly love yourself.
• Learn to be happy with yourself and what you have. Remember that everyone is different and each person has good and bad qualities.
• Remember that jealousy stems from your own insecurity and low self-esteem. If you address those issues first, it will make it easier for you to handle jealousy
• And for last, talk to someone about how you feel, maybe the person can help you with how you feel.